Behaviour
Building Good Habits: Simple, Supportive Strategies for Young Children
Raising young children is a joyful adventure, but it comes with its fair share of challenges. When it comes to teaching our little ones how to behave, many parents wonder about the best approach.
Child psychologist Louise Porter suggests a gentle, guidance-based method that focuses on teaching rather than punishing. We use Louise Porter’s strategies across our campuses and find them effective in the care environment and would like to share some warm and effective ways to help our children grow into well-behaved, confident individuals.
It’s important to remember that our little ones are learning about the world every day. They need clear, simple rules to understand what’s expected of them. When we explain these rules in a kind, patient way, our children are more likely to follow them. It’s also helpful to show them what good behaviour looks like by setting a positive example ourselves.
- Clear expectations: Use simple, concrete language to explain rules and their reasons. Involve children in creating family rules when appropriate. This helps them understand and follow the rules better.
- Positive reinforcement: Offer specific praise (e.g., “I like how you shared your toys with your friend”) rather than generic comments like “good job.” Use non-verbal encouragement such as smiles, hugs, and high-fives to reinforce positive behaviour.
- Redirection: For younger children, gently guide them towards acceptable behaviours. For instance, if a toddler is reaching for a fragile object, offer an exciting, safe toy instead. This helps them learn about appropriate actions without causing frustration.
- Limited choices: Give children some control by offering 2-3 options. For example, “Would you like to wear the red shirt or the blue one?” This helps teach decision-making skills without overwhelming them and ensures all options are acceptable to you.
- Natural consequences: Allow children to experience safe, minor consequences of their actions. For instance, if they refuse to wear a coat and feel cold outside, they learn about the importance of appropriate clothing. Always step in if there’s any real danger.
- “Time-in” approach: Instead of traditional “time-outs,” stay close and offer comfort during emotional moments. This helps children learn to manage big feelings and shows them you’re there for support, strengthening your bond.
- Effective communication: Get down to the child’s eye level, use simple words, and actively listen to their thoughts and feelings. Validate their emotions even if you disagree with their behaviour, saying things like “I understand you’re frustrated, but we don’t hit when we’re angry.”
- Consistency with flexibility: Maintain regular routines and expectations but be willing to adjust as children grow and change. This balance provides security while allowing for development.
This approach aims to create a loving, supportive environment where children feel secure and ready to learn. It focuses on building strong relationships and helping children develop into kind, responsible individuals. Remember, every family is unique, and finding the right balance may take time and patience. The goal is to guide children with love and understanding, fostering their growth into confident, well-behaved individuals.
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